Squidward Rules!

I'd love to be Squidward for a day! And it's time to come out of the closet on this. Squidward is a miserable grouch, completely self-absorbed, and craves nothing more than a night of peace and quiet with himself, his TV, and his clarinet. Man, that sounds good right now! (Except trade "clarinet" for "guitar," in my case.) In my honest moments, I have to confess that I have a lot in common with Squiddy.

I admire Squidward because he seems to be the only one that understands that Spongebob and Patrick are complete idiots. (Yes, it feels good to get this off my chest.) I've endured episode upon episode of this program, and Squidward's frank evaluation of Spongebob and Patrick comes as a most refreshing dose of sanity when the antics of his idiots neighbors have me ready to scream.

Squidward gets to do and say the things that in real life I'm not allow to say. He's not nice. In real life, I have to be "nice." He's not patient. In life, I have to be patient. He's not tolerant. In real life, I have to be tolerant. But a lot of times on the inside, I'm not nice, patient, or tolerant. So I like Squidward because he's authentic. That's it, authentic!

If this confession totally destroys your perception of me, well, sorry to burst that bubble. But admit it, wouldn't you enjoy being an authentic, self-absorbed grouch for a day? Just for a day?

Right, I thought you would.

Now get outta my house! I'm trying to watch TV here!

(P.S. Thanks to William Merkh for the photoshopped image of SquidDon. I always read his blog, and you can check it out HERE.)