Raising Guinea Pigs, or Children...whatever....

I tell my kids they are guinea pigs, and for two reasons. First, until they came along, I had absolutely no experience as a Dad. None. Zero. So I'm trying it out on them, sort of like chemists experimenting with laboratory animals. Second, I'm trying my hand at fatherhood in a world very much unlike the one in which I grew up. The digital age is new to all of us. When I was a kid, there was no cell phone, no internet, and no instagram. The Kodak Instamatic was the only "insta" of my day. And even then, it took two weeks to get your film developed. Of course, modern technology and handheld devices are great tools for parents, as they can be conveniently confiscated as punishment for sassy or disobedient kiddos! Anyway, as novices to the whole parenting thing, my wife and I are trying it out on four adopted guinea pigs, flying by the seat of our pants.

It's not unusual for parents to feel caught in an unending battle, an uphill climb, a war we just can't seem to win. But through it all I am taking hope in one little thing that I believe I am getting right by God's grace: I am HERE...imperfectly and inexperienced...but HERE. In fact, I believe this may be the best gift that my wife and I can give our kids: our presence. Just plain being here. I may be here grumpy and irritable, but I'm here. I may be here hollering over spilled milk, unmade beds and towels left on the floor, but I'm here. I may be at my wit's end, but I'm here. I may be inexperienced and in over my head, but I'm here. And that sure beats the alternative! Because an imperfect but present Dad is better than no Dad at all. Way better.

Do you see these two adopted angels? Though they have been with us since birth, I know enough of the details of their birth parents' stories to know that were it not for adoption, these two cuties would likely have been raised without a Dad, (and possibly without a mom). The same is true for our two boys, also adopted. I love being the Dad they otherwise would not have had.

The other day I turned my laptop screensaver onto "slide show" mode.  From the deep, long-forgotten recesses of my hard drive, all manner of archived photos started displaying in uninterrupted sequence: Birthday parties, Christmas mornings, trampolines, little league games, and family vacations. All sorts of impromptu pictures of these precious kids over the past 15 years. With my memory stirred and my heart moved, I realized how glad I am to have been here for all of this. I am imperfect and often struggling, true. But I'm here. And I wouldn't miss it for the world.

If you're feeling overwhelmed in the three-steps-forward-two-steps-back struggle of raising kids, please remember: Your kids are way ahead of the game because you're there. Yes, you, warts and all. And your being there is just what your little guinea pigs need.

And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm pretty sure I hear a brother teasing his sister, a door slamming, a dog barking, and a couple of  kids screaming. And I'm thinking it might be time to confiscate somebody's ipod....